(Photo by Emeldil at English Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)
In chapter 3 of Digital Storytelling: Capturing Lives, Creating Community, author Joe Lambert discusses a live stage project of one of his collaborators, Dana Atchley. In 1990, Atchley began performing a one-person show in his San Fransisco studio called Next Exit, a guided tour of his life traveling across the United States. Part of his performance involved a campfire, or more specifically, the image of a campfire on a video monitor. Atchley would tell stories about meeting “offbeat Americans” and interact with video segments projected on a backdrop. This metaphor made me think of the times I would be with fellow campers, camp councilors or friends and there would be an exchange of stories near the fire.
In recent years, however, I feel that I am getting farther and farther away from that friendly circle of warmth. I’ve worked a variety of temporary, seasonal, and part-time jobs since getting laid off from my full-time employer in 2010. What’s worse, that was the third layoff from a full-time job I’ve had to endure since 2003. During this time of economic uncertainly, my relationships with work colleagues and friends have weakened. The shame of not having a steady job makes a person withdraw. I have two part-time jobs now, but there are semester-dependent positions through higher education institutions. Come mid-May, I may have to find some other steady work as a source of income. This employment instability, constant job-searching and feeling of embarrassment has kept me from coming closer to the campfire.
To a certain extent, being enrolled in graduate school has improved my self-esteem and given me a better idea of a possible career track. The total online nature (and dramatic lack interpersonal engagement) of the Information and Learning Technologies program, however, is giving me some off-campus blues. WordPress blogging, Twitter exchanges and Zoom meetings are useful, but there’s still a great distance between the “camper” and the “campfire”. Plus, it seems I am not the only person in my INTE5340 class that has succumbed to disengagement.
Truly, I do want to get closer to the campfire and engage again with my friends, former coworkers and current students. My fear is that even if I talk, will anyone really listen? I hope so.
Mark, this is such great post. I can relate on many different levels. First off, I’ve been out of work before and it can be disheartening. Second, I work at a workforce center so I spend my entire day working with customers who are out of work. It can be tough sometimes. I say this to you because I want you to know that almost everyone feels this way when in this situation. Perhaps getting closer to the “campfire” so to speak will help you reconnect, or connect with people who have been in that situation. Also, it’s tough to be an online student! I’ve never done this before, this ILT program is my first time doing online classes and sometimes I feel completely lost!
This is such a powerful piece Mark! You really share a lot of insight into the challenges, frustrations, and sense of shame that can come with being unemployed and/or under-employed. You also offer inspiration to readers because you are taking very concrete, and hopeful, steps toward building your future – you are moving forward in your life and you capture the challenges of that journey. I appreciate your reflections on the ‘connected’ yet disconnected feeling of online social communities. Thanks for sharing this aspect of your journey.