(Photo by Emeldil at English Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons)
In chapter 3 of Digital Storytelling: Capturing Lives, Creating Community, author Joe Lambert discusses a live stage project of one of his collaborators, Dana Atchley. In 1990, Atchley began performing a one-person show in his San Fransisco studio called Next Exit, a guided tour of his life traveling across the United States. Part of his performance involved a campfire, or more specifically, the image of a campfire on a video monitor. Atchley would tell stories about meeting “offbeat Americans” and interact with video segments projected on a backdrop. This metaphor made me think of the times I would be with fellow campers, camp councilors or friends and there would be an exchange of stories near the fire.
In recent years, however, I feel that I am getting farther and farther away from that friendly circle of warmth. I’ve worked a variety of temporary, seasonal, and part-time jobs since getting laid off from my full-time employer in 2010. What’s worse, that was the third layoff from a full-time job I’ve had to endure since 2003. During this time of economic uncertainly, my relationships with work colleagues and friends have weakened. The shame of not having a steady job makes a person withdraw. I have two part-time jobs now, but there are semester-dependent positions through higher education institutions. Come mid-May, I may have to find some other steady work as a source of income. This employment instability, constant job-searching and feeling of embarrassment has kept me from coming closer to the campfire.
To a certain extent, being enrolled in graduate school has improved my self-esteem and given me a better idea of a possible career track. The total online nature (and dramatic lack interpersonal engagement) of the Information and Learning Technologies program, however, is giving me some off-campus blues. WordPress blogging, Twitter exchanges and Zoom meetings are useful, but there’s still a great distance between the “camper” and the “campfire”. Plus, it seems I am not the only person in my INTE5340 class that has succumbed to disengagement.
Truly, I do want to get closer to the campfire and engage again with my friends, former coworkers and current students. My fear is that even if I talk, will anyone really listen? I hope so.